i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
