): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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