OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
