btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
