Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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