There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
