If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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