theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
What a dumb baby whore.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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