Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
