Welp...herpes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
