i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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