All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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