upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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