my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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