i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Even my vagina gasped.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
