i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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