so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
