But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
