Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
foreskin is a definite game changer
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
