I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
