White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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