Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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