he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
