dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
