why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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