this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
