some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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