I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
