Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
