You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
