please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
