Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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