you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
