break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
