i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
