Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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