he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
