i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
