Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
