Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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