Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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