id be glad to
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
