Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
