We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
