There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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