All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I puked a lego.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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