i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
