Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
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