I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
