Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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