It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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