Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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