I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
