i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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