also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
