I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
