Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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