ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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