Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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