its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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